Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Aim: To rescue yourself from a traumatising phenomenon known as Boredom.

Apparatus Required: Any random stuff..trust me anything can be of use in such extreme scenarios!

Theory: Boredom is an emotional state experienced during periods lacking activity or when individuals are uninterested in the activities surrounding them.


  • Get rid off Facebook and Orkut for the following day.
  • Clean your room and do your laundary. If you normally don't then your mother is sure to appreciate this.
  • Make a movie. The worse the movie the better is the fun experienced. Well am not against a good movie though!
  • Make a call to any random number. The most tried and tested method. Guranteed to work wonders every time ;)
  • Rent a Tushar Kapoor movie for total entertainment [do i even need to say any more!? :D]
  • Teach your dog new tricks, if you dont have one teach your siblings the same. [works for me!]
  • Get a makeover. If u already look like a beauty pagent winner GREAT! call me [applicable only for gurls].
  • Go to a temple/mosque/church. Who knows, maybe you will learn something!
  • Listen to music [I cannot come up with any..m bored!! :O]
  • Visit 'www.bored.com' [I sware to God am not making this up]
  • Start a blog. [cool eh!? :P]

Result: Well I did manage to pass my time!! All the best with yours though. hehe :P


  • While calling up strangers avoid numbers such as 100, 919 etc.
  • In case of non availability of Tushar Kapoor movies, Aap Ka Suroor can be used as a replacement.
  • Avoid teaching tricks to your parents in case of non availability of siblings.
  • If the makeover does bring you any where close to megan fox then calling the creator of this blog is a must!


Exactly 24 hrs prior to this time, this is what was happening to me:

An average day in the life of an average human. *yawn* *yawn*
I had slept all evening, like four hours, and I was left with absolutely nothing to do that night. Nothing really to study, I was done with everything [am a good gUY you see ;)] , nothing fascinating on t.v except for of course the Rakhi Sawant news about which off to glory go the 'sabse tez' news channels in India and also nothing really ammusing to read as well. So, here I was doing what I am best at- nothing ! Next thing I do- doze off [ an only expected action]. Thanks to all my beloved friends, the tiny mosquitoes who never give me a chance to miss them, am up again continuing my previous action, what was it again? that's right, nothing! Alas! I called off for the day, tucking myself into my quilt, Bob Marley in the background I was in for some serious headbanging in the dreamland :) Practicing the daily ritual- 'the last look at Facebook'- it was finally time to give up! Suddenly, I felt a peaceful but rather disturbing feeling. I was aware that something was not right. OMG! My bed was rocking !!!! WHAT!!?? Now how on earth would that happen !?!? YES! It was a freaking earthquake !! 'Mother nature rocking your crib'..well doesn't seem very motherly to me!! :O I wasn't sure if this really was happening as I am on high medication already except for a fact that it really WAS! ' No woman no cry' of sudden started to sound a lot more like 'Rape me' :O :O ' This probably is the wind' I thought [that's right, am an idiot] but the rocking grew more and more intense. ' I think my phone is vibrating' [did I mention that am an idiot?] but no it wasn't. HOLYCRAP!!! RUN!! Seemed like a brick crash into my stomach. Trying immensely hard to clutch on to the wall I sighted the most astonishing view ever- my facewash dancing on the concavity !! I know it doesn't sound all that astonishing but believe me IT WAS! 'Earthquake in Gujrat happened on 26th Jan [republic day] , tsunami on 26th Dec [around Christmas] and now with Independence Day round the corner, why does it always happen on national holidays!?' I thought [idiot! that's me]. Even before i could scream out for mum and dad it stopped. PHEW! So I let them sleep. Imagine a young guy facing this sort of a trauma at such an early age!! *applause* :D The first thing I did, call my brodher to confirm if he was alive. Apparently he is. Still do I wonder, did i enjoy it? did i not? but sure I do know one thing for a fact it was quite some experience! Not that my life flashed before my eye but i do value life a little more now. Thank You Earthquake ! ;)


Well, these were just a few tweets that I came across. And I'm sure there would be a millions showing their shock over this award. Nobel is losing the status it once had.

I'd like to throw some light on why this controversy has arisen. There are a few points behind it :
  • The nominations were due to the Nobel committee on Feb 1. Mr Obama took the office on Jan 20. So what Obama-ji did in 264 hours wins him the prestigious award !!
  • The committee cast their votes in June. Even at that time, four months of Obama's steps (or rather ideas) towards world peace and nuclear proliferation were so great that they won him a Nobel !
  • Even if we take the time of the declaration, which happens to be 9 months after becoming the US Prez, its a very short period for someone to receive such an honour.
If someone can win a Nobel just on the basis of how much can he talk about world peace (rather than work for it), I think our very own Mahesh Bhatt and Rakhi Sawant (with due respect to both) should concentrate on 'world peace' and 'nuclear proliferation' instead of poking their nose in every other matter. That could win them a Nobel. ;)

I do not hate Obama. In fact, I preferred Obama over John McCain to be the US President. I just feel that he, at this point of time, does not deserve the Nobel.

Lets have a look at Obama's failures (towards world peace) :

  • Pakistan continues to get US Aid (and that too tripled) even after suspicious links of the Pakistan Army and ISI with the terrorists.
  • Failed attempts to curb the activities of Taliban in Pakistan and Afghanistan.
  • US Army still there in Iraq and Afghanistan.
  • Failed to stop Iran and North Korea's nuclear programmes.
  • Delay in releasing Guantenamo prisoners.
With this award to Obama, the prestigious Norwegian Nobel prize has lost its credibility. I call this a cruelty to the Peace Prize. Still, Congrats Obama-ji !!!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Funny how when a man is alive the media cannot report a single positive thing about him and when he dies, the same media leaves no words unused to sing paeans of the same man.

i noticed this practise twice this year. Michael Jackson could have done with some positive publicity in the later years of his life. The bad press is a major cause for most of the damage to his personal life (read the mountain of debt). And right when he died, the papers and TV channels were full of him, talking about the great talent that he was and how we had lost him. People (, some of whom never even knew who Michael Jackson was, ) reacted emotionally by rushing to the shops and buying his CDs (One of them is my dad, but he had the sense to check him out on youtube rather than buying his CDs). Upon not understanding his lyrics, they searched for them online, thus making him and his lyrics, “The most searched” terms on popular search engines. Had Michael Jackson got such publicity when he had been alive, he might have been able to pay off his debts. Well anyway, his kids might be benefited maybe.

And now it is our beloved Chief Minister Dr. Y. S. Rajashekhar Reddy. With all due respect, Dr. YSR was a great man, a visionary, a dynamic leader, a man of the people, a farmer’s politician, and all that stuff, but he was náive enough to board a chopper on a stormy day. Then the media started. The same newspapers that were always opposing his schemes and strongly hinting that Dr. YSR was eating away people’s money, by displaying his assets, were suddenly very deeply struck by his death. The news channels played Dr. YSR 24 hours a day, showing his entire life history with sad Telugu songs for the background score. The leader of opposition, N. Chandrababu Naidu, was suddenly waxing eloquent on Dr. YSR’s same scheme that he was against two days before. There were reports of farmers and schoolgirls comitting suicide, deeply affected by Dr. YSR’s death (Seriously. Not kidding!). Everyone, from the who’s who of the society to B-grade celebrities, has used the death of Dr YSR to it’s full extent, in order to gain more visibility. If some never-heard-of before Congress workers (Aravind, to name one) have gone out of their way in mourning, others like boring Telugu actor, Raja, have staged dharnas and left no stone unturned, voting for Dr. YSR’s son, Jagan, as his successor, only because he is his son (Please, now don’t tell me politics is also genetic). The Home Minister Sabitha Reddy (or something like that her name is, please check on google), visited the spot from where Dr. YSR’s body was recovered and “broke down” there, setting up his photo on against some rocks and sitting down with her fellow workers in order to pay the last respects. How many times!!? Every page of the newspapes still have news of Dr. YSR’s death, people paying their last respects at various places, “condolence parties” organised, where people are eating, drinking and smiling. There is no news in the newspapers. Only Dr. YSR on every page. How boring! To top it all, actor Rajashekhar and his wife announced that they would come up with a movie on the great man’s life. Friends, I am not watching this with you!

Maybe I should jump on the bandwagon too. What should I do? Go to the CM’s office with a knife pointing at my heart, thretening to pierce it if Jagan is not made the CM? Or climb atop a hoarding and threaten to jump off? Maybe I could display my blog URL on the hoarding. That would be another of my publicity stunts.

PS: I want to give a small message to my friends and enemies. If you hate me, do so even after my death. I don’t want to take that right from you.

publicity stunts!!!

I need to do something to make this blog popular. And I have decided to choose one of the following options.

1) Throw a shoe whose sole is emblazoned with my blog url at a V V I P. It will earn me the respect of fellow countrymen, besides increasing the number of hits to my blog.

2) Get detained, on purpose, at an airport for questioning and kick up a fuss about it. Oh wait. I am not travelling by air anytime soon. How about getting detained at a bus stop?

3) Hold a swayamvar or swayamnari or whatever it is called when a man is choosing a wife.

4) Write a book praising any of the past or present politicians. It’ll kick up a worlwide debate and within days my book will be the number one bestseller and my blog will have the maximum number of visits.

5) Go and punch a few pub-going girls.

6) Just die while bathing. People will realise that they have lost a great legend and my blog will get popular. My name will be the most searched on google. My possessions (including my glittery, but moth-eaten socks) will be auctioned off for millions. But wait, I am not as famous as Michael Jackson. Yet.

Any suggestions as to which would be the best option? Or have you got any ideas of your own? Please tell me. It will be a BIG help!

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Neeta goes through Krish’s case file and reads out an excerpt; “patient has sleep deprivation, has cut off human contact for a week, refuses to eat, has Google-searched on best ways to commit suicide.” She even utters the word curd rice, prodding him. He breaks down and banters racist remarks towards the south Indian. Neeta like any good physiatrist (or psycho as referred to) prompts him to start from the root cause – the first meet.

And this is how Chetan Bhagat with the tagline “the biggest selling english language novelist in India’s history – New York Times” unveiled the cover page and prologue of his fourth novel through internet, a rom-com with more stress on com this time around, retracing his path from a serious writer that he had established through “The three mistakes of my life”, to his “Five point someone” days; more so, as this again is based on his life (no the IIT days), but the love between a north Indian and a south Indian.

Chetan, who has always tried to imbibe a lot of positive energy through his intentionally simple writing style; which has till now explored the complex world through his characters horizontally; avoiding the grey shades, sets out to take us through the lives of Krish and Ananya from their first meet till they succeed in marriage by convincing their orthodox families and making them like each other in what might prove to be a comedy of errors that would end in a happily ever after, interspersed with a message; the message a guy surrounded by a cloud representing the state of Punjab attempting to connect with a girl surrounded by the cloud of Tamil Nadu wants to give through “ 2 States – the story of my marriage” this Diwali.