its my life!!!!!

As my classes hav nt yet started ,i am left with nothing else than penning down more and more crap here. xD I started this blog to keep my poems alive,because maintaining a diary isn't my cup of coffee(i hate tea =P) but its more of my personal diary now.i've got the liberty to freely express my views,deeds and thoughts.none could poke his/her nose,making it an issue,bugging up with tonnes of queries. =/ Its irritating when life moves but there's a stillness which bothers.i feel weird,not knowing whether i should be happy that i am busy all the time,o' i should be sad because i spend most of my time in my room,left all alone,doing the crap and written works. =/ i barely step outta my room when dad is at home,as i don't like indulging in useless conversations with him,all i get shouts and harsh comments.even if i don't say anything then too i am gifted with rudeness for no reason at all.moreover many times mum's cold reaction burns as well,it do no good,but just adds up to the bitterness of my life =/ i've not got much tuning with my siblings as well,i've always been overshadowed by him,i hate this.its useless to talk to younger one,as all he knows is how to start fight any moment,the pampered arrogant kid. =/ there's a bit of mutual understanding between moi and ma elder cousin,but that goes in vain,as soon as he comes up with his philosphies,and extra-ordinary statements,our views have got no match =/ i feel lonely,left out,nothing more than a burden for them. :( i wish i was never born =/ scoldings are too common,but to some extent.it really sucks when they seem to continue till eternity =x most of the times i am being told,ooh sclolding part is too common.is it so?do all gets scoldings daily for no reason?ok..not all but few?are they treated in the same way i get treated daily?if they skip food,do they get ignored o.O i don't think the word stability and serenity do exist in my world..i don't cry anymore,even if i try to cry,my eyes only become moist. =/